All of this pressure I’ve put on myself has created “Mean Mommy” to unleash upon our quiet little house. Who is this woman and who let her in? It’s simple. I did. Post graduation should be leaving me with this carefree fun-loving self, who is willing to drop everything and cart Little Bolding happily around town looking for new adventures. (Insert visual of mommy and daughter frolicking through a field of rainbows and butterflies.) When I didn’t get up at the crack of dawn to get a little workout in this morning, I KNEW it was going to be a bad day. Since the little one wasn’t up running circles around me yet, I dismissed that thought and said to myself, “You are wrong. Get down on the floor and breathe.” I gave my best at a pathetic attempt to yoga and a quick glance at my daily devotional. Still no sign of tiny footsteps, so I meditated over this line: “Stay on the path I have selected for you. It is truly the path of Life.” Let me tell you, this week has been incredibly difficult for some reason. Usually by about 10:00 a.m. the positive vibes from morning devotion wear off and Mean Mommy makes her grand entrance without my awareness. We had a busy morning planned of storytime and shopping, so I pushed back my thoughts, threw on some mascara and out the door we went. At storytime today, I met some pretty amazing moms. We sort of gravitated toward one another, as if to be longing for some adult discussion – at least that’s how I felt. As our little ones listened to the story, or didn’t but whatever, we got to chatting and I realized this was the first time I’ve actually inserted myself into a conversation with other people like me. Aka, other moms with toddlers. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been to storytime at the library, gymnastics, parks and whatever else I can think of to keep the little one occupied. However, I’ve been so worried about what my child is doing, or not doing, during that particular activity that I’ve forgotten about myself. Humans long for interaction with other humans obtaining similar characteristics and interests – it’s nature. Duh – no wonder Mean Mommy was trying to consume my life. After all, I’m an extrovert and I need social contact! When recalling our experiences about breastfeeding, one of the moms said something that stuck with me for the day, “…do whatever works for you.” She was referring to breastfeeding versus bottle, but it is still a good reminder and applies to other areas of parenting as well. I’ve heard these words before and I’ve said these words to other nursing mothers, but I suppose I’ve never really listened for myself in terms of applying them to everyday life. Society puts a great deal of pressure on moms these days, or maybe it’s always been that way and I’m just recently a mom who is just now paying attention to what society says about us. Here’s a list I’m sure you are all familiar with:
Aahhh – no wonder Mean Mommy was trying to take over my life! As I mentioned earlier, I’ve been doing some reading this summer and one of the books is titled The Confident Mom by Joyce Meyer. She says we should not compare ourselves to others. Meaning other moms of course. That’s a pretty good reminder. It’s easy to compare ourselves with the constant flow of immediate updates from social media. I’m guilty of it and I know better, but I still get sucked into it. During stop number two of the day, we actually had a number two accident. That’s right, we were shopping and someone ran off and pooped in the corner – in her PANTIES!!! We JUST went before we left our first stop. Oh, but we went number ONE at stop number one. My bad! I took her out to the car to change and dispose of the disgusting grossness she created, and my dad’s voice popped into my head with these words: “Sh** happens kiddo!” Following his words was a familiar unique chuckle. I couldn’t help but laugh.
That’s when I realized:
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Instead of throwing clothing into the garbage, recycle it! I recently became aware of this concept last month during April's celebration of Earth Day. I noticed a few retailers offering discounts at their stores in exchange for customers’ unusable clothing. While I didn’t jump on board with bringing my many sacks of clothing into the store, I did start sorting a few sacks with the following categories:
I probably put way too much time and energy into thinking about where my clothes end up, but I feel it’s important. Keeping clothing out of our landfills, or filling up our closets, are ways to contribute to a more organized home and a cleaner environment.
Where is your favorite drop-off location?
"Moreover, no man knows when his hour will come." ~ Ecclesiastes 9:12 ![]() It was challenging for me to select just one person to give my stole to. So many of my instructors and professors influenced me throughout my time at the University of Central Oklahoma. Coming in to the university, I had a bit of a chip on my shoulder. A new OKC transplant, a new mom, and recently unemployed (by choice) for the first time since I was 15 years old. Work was really the only thing I knew and now I was back at school for the remaining couple of years of my twenties… After fumbling through the first few months of motherhood, I had been accepted and began my first semester at UCO. I knew I could nurse my newborn before and after my only class on campus – and it worked for those short four months. I only took one other class online, and then started a Self-Paced Online Course that I could take over the course of six months to ease my way back into a school routine. Shortly after finishing my first semester, I received a phone call that my dad had been in a horrific car accident… a few days later he was gone. It was a month before I could find myself to pick my online course up again, but I did it somehow with only a few days to spare after hitting the submit button on my final exam. My daughter kept me going, but my mind wondered a lot. My husband – what a man – gave me space and encouraged me to keep pushing forward. We couldn’t afford full-time day care and tuition payments on one salary, so we started sending my daughter to an in-home day care two days a week during my second semester. In addition, my mother-in-law helped when I needed to study. I tried to take as many classes as possible at night or online because of my inconsistent schedule. Anyway, the stole… I couldn’t just give it to one professor because so many of them influenced me in one way or another. Since I had such a variety of instructors because of my crazy mommy schedule, I wasn’t able to follow just one or a few professors throughout my time at UCO. Moose Tyler – for a rather unforgettable experience for my first semester. I’m not sure I could have had a better instructor to transition my way back into the college life. She was fun, smart and witty. In my adult life, I pride myself as mostly an “A” student… When I earned a “B” in her class I realized I needed to cut the crap and get serious about this school thing in order to make it through the remaining courses. Mr. Trammell – for the media ethics night class my second semester, and for introducing me to a world of journalism I never even thought about exploring. Not to mention the MANY guest speakers he had visit our class – such incredible minds. During that semester he took us on a tour through The Oklahoma Publishing Company (now The Oklahoman Media Company) where I was able to print the paper for next-day delivery. My immediate thought was “Look Dad! I just printed tomorrow’s paper!!” I left bawling like a baby as memories of my dad came flooding through my mind. I called my brother and we agreed Dad would have been excited about that moment – all thanks to Mr. Trammell. Dr. Mark Hanebutt – for making Media Law interesting and for making LAW interesting. Books are important to learn from, but I learned more from those lectures than any book. I was SO MAD at him for making us go to the court house to write a stinking paper. He told us NOT to sit in on a murder trial, so I did. After spending THREE DAYS in the courthouse, the judge called the verdict and I’ll never forget leaving the courthouse with so much energy to write a paper. Dr. Christy Vincent – for never giving up on her students and pushing us hard to achieve our very best, all while facing her own health challenges. Her personal life never interfered with helping her students succeed - a genuine role model for women. Dr. Terry Clark – what can I say? This man is a curator of minds… I’ve never been more inspired in a short two-week class. Taking #ClarkClass (Twitter for Media) was the best last-minute decision I’ve ever made. So many talented people in one room and the reason I started writing this blog in the first place. Dr. Sherry Johnson – what an enjoyable soul. After taking an online class with her first, I knew I had to take a class with her in person. She’s one of the most organized and laid back professors I’ve taken classes with. Sandy Martin – for teaching us REALLY how it is in the real world – how refreshing to just jump in and work! Breslin – because he’s also a “real-world” kind of instructor. The classroom is what you make of it in college. Life presents obstacles and one must figure it out, or get out! Dr. Chad Perry – for being “the new guy”. I understand what that’s like and I’m sure it’s a little intimidating being the new professor in front of the classroom while everyone whispers, “who’s this guy”. I appreciate the quirky little lessons with the Legos and the coffee distiller, while we all asked “what does this have to do with anything?” It’s nice not to look at a book or computer once in a while and play with toys instead, but still get a lesson in for the day. Dr. Emily Griffin Overocker – for being a fun supervisor, who played double duty as a “life coach” even when she didn’t realize it. Having a supervisor who also has a toddler was extremely therapeutic! Spending all of my time at school meant I had little time to make friends or set up play dates with other moms. My work during my internship was a sort of outlet to practice my skills and work on some portfolio samples – it was fun! Last, I am most grateful for my husband and that he never gave up on me. For our entire relationship, I have been pursuing my dreams in furthering my education and career. This man has never given up on me, even after we announced our engagement and my dad said to him, “Are you sure you know what you’re getting in to?” For all the nights he spent alone with our daughter while I stayed at school until nearly midnight. For all those times of encouragement when I just wanted to give up… I owe my success to him. The stole has been given back to the university, along with my cap and gown, in hopes someone else will find use for them as they take their steps across the stage of success. ![]() Ernst Enterprises was a business my dad once owned in our little town of Perryville, Missouri. It was a newspaper distributing company; aka newspaper route. He was known as “The Newspaper Guy” and was a functioning part of our community. Snow (blizzards), rain, heat, ice – whatever the the conditions, he was going to deliver the paper(s) to you that day. Dad loved the news – it was just as important to him as it was to his customers. The newspapers he delivered included: St. Louis Post-Dispatch, USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, and Southeast Missourian. As children, my brother and I spent many weekends counting quarters from the newspaper vending machines. Saturdays, after the morning papers were delivered, our family would "count the funnies”. That is to say, the comic section would hold the advertisements. Since newspapers were put together by machines, there would be duplicate inserts and some missing altogether. Dad wanted each of them hand-counted, sorted and then bundled back together, so his customers would have a perfectly put together paper. I didn’t understand that was what we were doing at the time. I mean, I’m pretty sure single digits represented mine and my brother’s ages. Along for the ride… Mountain Dew, 90’s country music and the sunrise… I frequently rode along with my dad to deliver the papers on his route, typically on Saturday nights. Dad took the back seats out of the car in order to fit the maximum amount of papers; I rode on the top of the wrapped newspapers. Dad drank a LOT of Mountain Dew in order to make it through his late night/early morning shifts. When we stopped at the gas stations to fill the newspaper vending machines, we stocked up on Mountain Dew, Doritos, or some sort of Little Debbie snack. I wouldn’t touch any of these “foods” now, but at the time it was every child’s dream! We listened to 90's country music as we drove up and down every street in town. To this day, I can't listen to Toby Keith's "Should've Been a Cowboy" without thinking of those times with Dad. I never made it through the full route before falling asleep, but I remember always waking up to the warm sun and a cool breeze from the rolled-down windows. Watching the sun rise while others were still asleep - that was the greatest payback for our hard work. Summer mornings were the best. Dew dripped from the blades of grass, shimmering in the sun’s reflection. The cool breeze turned warm and the sky filled with multiple colors of orange, pink and purple. We returned home with newspaper ink smudged on our faces and hands, paper dust on our clothes, and a little dirt in our hair and hat from dirt roads we traveled on for those few rural customers. Tired from our journey, I went straight to bed for a nap, while Dad headed out to his second job of farming, auto work, or other odd job. “Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” ~Dr. Suess |
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